Today we're 14 weeks. Now no matter how you count, we're in the second trimester. Whew! Today is also exactly six months from our due date. It seems to far away, but it's only six months. I just look at how fast the past six months have gone and it makes me think that the next six will go just as fast. I mean, I've had this new job for five months already and it doesn't seem like any time at all has passed!
Sometimes I get really scared when I think about becoming parents. I even sometimes wish I wasn't pregnant. It's not that I don't want the baby, because I do. And it's not that I think we can't do this parenting thing. I know we can, and I am positive we'll learn and grow and do the very best we can. I am scared of leaving behind the relatively carefree life of DINKyness. I'm scared of the unknown that this baby represents. How will life be different? What will change, and what stay the same? What if parts of my life change that I don't want to change? I know everyone says you don't regret the changes and they wouldn't give up their kids for the world and all that. That's fine for them to say from the other side of things where they've already gone through it and experienced the transformation of their lives. But right now I'm still on *this* stide of things and from here it's pretty darn scary.
I think I'm going to cry. I just got an email from my dad. At the end he said "and hug my grandbun!" That's so adorably cute and sweet. The grandbun. Sniff.
I thought I'd better add some baby stuff for today since the last entry was just fun and not babyrelated. A few random thoughts...
I was actually able to eat some chicken earlier this week. I haven't tried since, but it's my plan to try some this week. Cooked vegetables are still not a good thing for me, but I am fervently hoping that this aversion goes away as I get into the second trimester.
Last weekend I bought a body pillow to snuggle at night. For years I have had a second pillow that I put between my legs to suppport my top leg, because I am a side sleeper and I would frequently wake up with pain in the hip of my top leg. The past few weeks I've noticed the pain is more often and more severe, often being both hips instead of just the top one. For a few days I was in heaven with the new pillow, but then slowly the pain started coming back. It seems once I wake up with hip pain, I wake up every half hour (sometimes even less!) with pain in one or both of my hips. The only thing that stops it is to get out of bed or to roll onto my back and lay like that for a while. I know I won't be able to do that for much longer... I have no idea what to try next!
On the day after my birthday, Jason and I will celebrate our 4000th day since our first date! On March 2, we will have been married for 2000 days. Neat, huh?
Since our first date... For a relationship which started on: Wednesday, January 06, 1993 You have been together for 3918 days.Your next Minor Decimal Anniversary is
your 4000th day together on Friday, December 19, 2003Your next Major Decimal Anniversary is
your 4000th day together on Friday, December 19, 2003
This is your Lace Decimal Anniversary
Since our wedding... For a relationship which started on: Saturday, September 12, 1998 You have been together for 1843 days.Your next Minor Decimal Anniversary is
your 1900th day together on Sunday, November 23, 2003Your next Major Decimal Anniversary is
your 2000th day together on Tuesday, March 02, 2004
This is your Steel Decimal Anniversary
From the Decimal Anniversary calendar.
From askdrsears.com...
Congested. Keep your tissues handy. The same pregnancy hormones and increased blood volume that cause increased vaginal discharge also cause the mucous membranes in your nose to swell, secrete fluid, and produce an annoying post-nasal drip. Allergic mothers who suffer from asthma and hay fever may find they wheeze, sniffle, and tear more while pregnant, but even women with no history of allergy or sinus trouble often report constant sniffles while pregnant.
I've been wondering why I'm so much more sniffly than normal the past week and a half or so! At first I was sure I was getting sick, but know I know better. How thrilled I am to think that I get to enjoy this snifflyness and constant nose-blowing for the next six months!
Last night we got our second gift for the baby, a package of four pacifiers. We went to dinner with Jason's Great Aunt Helen (so the baby's Great Great Aunt!!) and she gave them to us. I still need to post a picture of the bassinet we got a couple weeks ago, but it's now in the basement so it'll be a chore to get a picture because the basement is *not* in a state for public consumption!
I'm always so late on posting about the change in weeks. Bad me. But as of Tuesday we're 13 weeks. By the end of this week the baby will be about 4 inches long. Only another 16 or so inches to grow, and 27 weeks in which to do it. That's a bit more than half an inch a week. It doesn't sound to bad when put that way.
Today we had our second doctor's appointment. It was quick and easy... or at least it was once the doctor came in to see us. We sat in the waiting room for an hour, and then spent another half hour in the examining room after I peed and was weighed. Ugh! That's the last appointment we make for the late afternoon. Our next appointment is first thing in the morning. Of course the only reason I was even slightly annoyed about it was because of the completely horrible, rotten, icky day I had at work. Anyhoo. The appointment went well. All the results of my bloodwork from last month were normal. I'm not anemic, I don't have syphillis. No surprises there. Oh, and I finally found out my blood type. I'm O+. Nifty, huh?
Best of all, we heard the heartbeat! It was whooshing away at 162 bpm. It was so incredible, hearing that strong little heartbeat of the tiny three-inch person inside my belly. It didn't make the baby seem more real, like I thought I might. I'm still just as amazed and unbelieving as I was before. Only now, my worries that something had happened to the baby are allayed. But I still find it hard to believe that we're going to have a baby. Even though it's something I have wanted with all my heart for the past couple of years, I still have a hard time imagining a baby into my life, our life. Several times in the past couple of weeks, especially when I have told friends and coworkers, I have found myself panicking and thinking 'what if this is all a mistake and they made a mistake on the ultrasound and we're not really pregnant!' Crazy, I know, but it is just that unreal to me. Even after the ultrasound, and now the heartbeat.
Who knew that today with my lunch (including those yummy tomatoes that I now wish I had lots more of) I was drinking the official juice of Jeff Gordon? I sure didn't, until I happened to notice the little logo on the back of the bottle. I feel honored. Jeff Gordon's very own juice. How special.
This morning as I was waiting for my bagel to toast, it occurred to me that a tomato with mayo (actually, miracle whip) and salt would be a really yummy addition for my lunch. So I got a tomato out and washed it and put miracle whip in a little tupperware and added it to the bag of lunchy things that Jason had already put together for me. Now that I'm at work and it's lunchtime I and I have this tomato on a plate next to me all nicely sliced up and salted, it doesn't sound good at all. Figures.
We've been given our first Thing for the Baby! Sunday we got home and there was a message from Jason's grandma (the baby's Great Grandma Kelley) that she had something for us and to come get it as soon as possible. She was all mysterious. We figured it was something for the baby, even though she wouldn't say. Jason went to pick it up Tuesday while I was at my writer's group meeting. Turns out it was a bassinet! It's really cute, if a bit more frilly that I would have picked out for myself. But I am sure I could make a new skirt for it if I wanted. The neat thing is that Grandma's neighbor saw it at a garage sale and bought it for us... imagine that, her neighbor thought of us! How cool of her! So it's not a family heirloom or anything, but I think that story makes it kind of special anyway. I don't have a picture of it yet but i'll post it sometime this weekend.
We've also been promised a crib (if we want it) and all the boy's clothes we want by Uncle Adam and Aunt Tracy (Adam is Jay's brother). It feels so bizarre to call these people by names like Aunt and Great Grandma. I guess I'll have to get used to it though won't I!
I have now tried the sliced tomatoes and they are actually quite good, much better than they smell and look. Thank goodness. I didn't want to have to waste them!
Here's a great big update to cover the last week. Overall I've been feeling really good. I feel like I'm slowly getting some energy back. I have not gone to bed before 10 in at least a week, and although it still leaves me tired the next morning, the tiredness is not as bad as it was a few weeks ago. I can even tell I have more energy just by how I walk. In the mornings walking in from the parking lot (a good 5 minute walk), I'm walking as fast as everyone else, and with a bit of a spring to my step. A few weeks ago I slugged in while everyone else passed me walking faster than I could comprehend at the time.
The nausea has also faded, though it isn't gone entirely. I've been getting nauseous in the evenings still, but not too bad most days. I still have a ton of food aversions, but I have been thinking it's going to be time soon to test them to make sure they're still there. I really hope this vegetable thing goes away soon. I can't imagine not eating cooked veggies until April! (I have discovered that most raw veggies are ok, have I mentioned that yet? At least I have that, if cooked veggies are off the menu.)
Friday Jason and I celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary. We had dinner at the Worthington Inn, the restaurant where we had our wedding reception. I was a little worried by the menu, which like any good expensive restaurant had about 12 things on itall of them fancy. Everything was either chicken or pork or was heavy on vegetables. I finally settled on lamb chops, even though I wasn't sure if lamb was an okay meat for me. Jason ordered a steak and promised to switch with me if the lamb wasn't good (after eating the pile of green beans that came with the steak, naturally). Fortunately the lamb was good, although I couldn't do the cooked tomatoes that came with it as a side. After dinner we walked across the street to Graeter's and had ice cream. We sat outside on the low wall and watched the people walking by and sitting on benches eating ice cream, and we talked about how incredible and wonderful it is that it's already been five years since we were married. It hardly seems possible that so much time has passed, but on the other hand it seems like we have always had each other in our lives (which, come to think of it is true. We've been together nearly 11 years, which is more than a third of our lifetime!)
It's kind of funny, because around the time of our wedding, one of the questions I heard a lot was "so, when do you think you'll have kids?" and my answer at the time was "definitely not for 5 years at least." As the first couple years went by I started to feel more and more ready for kids and I assumed that it wouldn't be anywhere near five years before we had kids. And yet, here we are, at our fifth anniversary and pregnant with our first. Either I jinxed us or I was wiser than I knew back on our wedding day!
Saturday morning we went to the farmer's market in Worthington, where we bought tomatoes and fresh basil, then we went home to watch the Buckeyes game and make pizza. I forgot to use the tomatoes in the sauce, but I remembered the basil! Later, our friends Heather and Jason came over and we ate pizza and introduced them to Settlers of Catan. The game was a big hit, and they were interested in playing some of our other games too.
Sunday we had breakfast with Jason's grandparents and Aunt Gayle. After church we went shopping because I was in need of some bigger clothes. It'll be a while before I'm big enough for full blown maternity clothes, but my regular stuff just isn't cutting it anymore. It was one of the more frustrating shopping trips I've gone on. I had a hard time finding pants that fit and didn't make me look like I had my legs on backwards (I swear, the first few pairs I tried on made me look like that, although I think in the store I used the phrase "knock-kneed cow with pants on backwards"). I finally found some pants at Sears. They fit wonderfully and I love love love them. They're a bit big and baggy now, but I'm sure it won't take long to grow into them.
Yesterday I told my boss that I'm pregnant. I had been wavering on how long to wait, but on Friday one of the other secretaries asked me outright if I was pregnant. I didn't want to lie, so I admitted that I was. But that meant I couldn't wait any longer to tell my boss. So I told him, and then went and told the other secretary I work with a lot. I'm not sure when or how to tell the other people I work with. I feel funny just going in and saying I'm pregnant to these people I barely know, yet is it nice to just let them wonder as I get bigger and bigger? I don't know. I don't want to make a big deal about it, I'm uncomfortable with that.
This morning (see, I said this was a big update!) when I came downstairs, Jason came out from the kitchen and said "Something happened last night." I walked into the kitchen and looked where he pointed at the window. The screen was all akilter and hanging loosely. Then he told me that when he let Straka out back to pee, the gate to our patio was standing wide open. How scary, someone tried to break into our apartment! Fortunately they didn't make it in, but it still makes me want to fill the sink with cobras or pointy sticks tonight.
And that's about it. Tomorrow starts the 13th week, and depending on what calendar you go by, tomorrow also starts the second trimester and the fourth month. The baby's about three inches long now and weighs around half an ounce. He/she is getting so big! It's amazing to think that in as little as a month I could begin to feel the baby move.
I added two belly pictures today. The first was taken around 6 weeks, so I have a pre-pregnancy belly, or something close to it anyway. There's quite a belly there to begin with. The second I took today, at 11 weeks 1 day. Not all of that is baby. I'm retaining water and all kinds of other lovely things. The links are to the right under pregnancy pictures.
I stayed home from work today because I'm really exhausted. I haven't been sleeping well lately because I'm getting up every two hours to pee, and I've woken up with a headache every morning for the past few days. I never get decent rest when I get a headache overnight. I've been trying to take it easy today and relax, but it's hard to do. At least my mind is not busy with work things and I'm not running around the office.
I noticed on a couple of pregnancy calendars online that they're calling this the last week of the first trimester. Is that right? I thought the first trimester went ended 13 weeks, not 12. Not that I mind getting to the second that much sooner, but it is just another example of the confusingness of this pregnancy tracking thing.
Speaking of pregnancy tracking, last night I added a page to correlate pregnancy weeks to actual calendar weeks during my pregnancy. I explained on the page, but basically as I'm reading through other moms' journals I find I want to know what dates in their journal correspond to what week in their preganancies.
It's a boy! At least it is according to the Chinese gender predictor at babyzone.com. Ha, gotcha! In case you were curious, we are planning on not finding out the sex of the baby early. We want the good ol' traditional surprise at the end.
I very nearly broke down in tears this afternoon. The copier started printing increasingly fading copies. I kept expecting it to give me a warning about being out of toner, but it didn't. When the copies started coming out nearly blank, I decided to add toner. It only took half the bottle (and what a mess it made too! Blech!) and when I tried the copier again it was still printing practically blank copies. I had a big proposal to get out today, and this all happened halfway through making my copies for that. The only thing that kept me from bawling right there in the print room was when I called the service number, the guy who answered was the Nicest Guy Ever ™ and actually made me laugh. Gotta love them hormones.
Today we are 11 weeks! Tomorrow starts the twelfth week. Here's what's happening this week according to babyzone.com. Baby's beginning to look human!
Time is definitely starting to speed up again. The first few weeks went by so slowly, but now I barely blink and we're another week along. I have a feeling that it's only going to get worse!
I have been so incredibly thirsty the past couple days! Yesterday I drank two quarts of water at work, more once I got home, and another 32 oz overnight. When I woke up I was so thirsty I couldn't stand it. Today it's the same thing. Water, water, water. Mmmm.
Last night we played games with Emma and Andy. While we were there, I got a big owie in my side. It felt like a stitch you get when you've been running too long, but it went on and on and on and nothing eased it. Fortunately once I laid down at home and slept a few hours it went away. Emma said she had a similar feeling, but lower down on her side than mine was, and that it lasted most of the pregnancy. Boy I can't wait for this one to keep on keeping on.
This morning I woke up with a pillow headache, and it hasn't gone away yet. I felt - still feel - like poo, and wish I could go home. Maybe I'll see if I can later today. Not that I feel like going home and sleeping, since it's sleep that gave me this headache in the first place.
I was just reading my daily blub on pregnancyandbaby.com, which lists all kinds of fun stats like how many days you have left in the pregnancy. We have 72.5% of the pregnancy to go, which means that we've completed 27.5% already. That was a surprising realization, that we're nearly 30% through the pregnancy. It sounds so far along. 30%. But tomorrow we're 11 weeks and we have only 2 weeks to go until we're in the second trimester. I told Jason how far we are already and he was wowed too. He said, "Baby's gonna jump out at any moment and say 'Hi!'" I think we'll have a tad bit more warning than that.
Perhaps I spoke too soon about the nausea being gone. Well, it has been gone for the past two weeks almost. But it appears to be back. I felt vaguely nauseous this morning, but it got really bad tonight. We went grocery shopping because we hadn't gone yet since getting back in town on Monday. Back a couple weeks ago when I was still nauseous all the time, the grocery store made me sick to the point where looking at anything foodlike made me quite positive I was going to heave right there by the $1.99/lb chuck roast display. One week I actually had to go sit in the deli and stare at the floor, it was so bad. There was a lady eating a salad a couple tables over and I swear I wanted to take her food from her. I wasn't looking at her, but I could feel her sitting over there, eating.
So, grocery shopping tonight. The nausea came back. That's all I really wanted to say, even though it took me a whole paragraph and a half to get there.
I forgot to mention a few things last night...
...we're in month 3 now!
...I still can't eat cooked veggies.
...my clothes are getting SO tight. I'm still fitting into most of them, but they are starting to pull funny and be tight in strange places. It won't be long until I have to go buy some larger things. Is there such a thing as modular maternity clothes that you can make bigger and bigger as you grow? I hate buying new clothes now when I'm just going to have to buy more new, bigger things in a couple months. Seems like such a waste.
...work doesn't know yet. I'm not sure when I'm going to tell, but it needs to be soon. I'm a little nervous about it. I'm not sure why.
...yesterday I had a splitting, near-migraine headache. If I hadn't been the only secretary in all day, I would have gone home. As it was, it took me 3 times as long to finish even the simplest tasks.
...I spent my only dollar on coffee this morning (decaf, of course). Boy was it good. I want more. I worry about starving when I have no money at work, even though I have tons of food in my office. (And yes I realize this isn't something I forgot to say last night!)
...I'm really craving salsa and chips right now. So much so that I am seriously considering going out and buying some from the Target that's just up the street.
We got home from Baby Tour 2003 last night around 9. We spent the weekend in North Carolina with Jason's family. It had been a year and a half since Jason visited them, so it was high time we made the trek anyway, but the fact of the baby made it a double necessity. I know we could have simply called them up on the phone, but we're never ones to do things the easy way. Besides, we needed to visit them anyway and this was probably our last chance until next summer.
So we drove down Friday. We had rain in Virginia like we always do (a really big thunderstorm, it was!), but other than that it was a good drive. We visited Jason's dad and stepmom at their new house, and then we drove to his mom's Saturday evening. Everyone was beyond thrilled about the baby, like we knew they would be. It was fun to be there in person to tell them. I'm glad we made the trip.
Everything is still A-okay with the baby. Today we are 10 weeks pregnant, and tomorrow begins the eleventh week. 10 weeks! We're in two-digit weeks now! And I only have to repeat this 10-weeks thing three more times until the baby comes (give or take a couple weeks of course). That's not so bad, is it? Ha!
Symptom-wise, I'm still utterly exhausted all the time, but my nausea seems to have disappeared again. It's been gone over a week now, flaring up only every now and again, but faintly. I'm still having tons of food aversions, so that pretty much everything I eat threatens to make me puke after too long. Case in point: Last night we had dinner at Bob Evans on our way home. My Frisco salad was good for a while, but halfway through the pile of chicken on it, my body said "Nope, no more chicken," so I stopped eating it. Then the sight of the chicken made me feel ill, so I buried the rest in lettuce. This was followed not too much later by my body telling me that it had had enough of the copious bacon bits - there were huge balls of matted up bacon bits plopped all over the salad. At this point I put down my fork and covered the salad plate with my napkin and ate a roll instead.
That's pretty much how it goes. I can only take so much food before suddenly the taste makes my throat constrict in a heeby-jeeby dance and I tense myself to make a mad dash to the bathroom. I have yet to make that dash, for which I'm very grateful. But the threat is there, and that's bad enough.
The current countdown - 21 days until the next doctor's appointment!
Oh, and welcome to all the family types who are now reading the journal!